Sexiest Man Alive (Knight Fashion #1) Read online

  Sexiest Man Alive

  Knight Fashion Magazine

  Copyright © Mary Ting 2016

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locations, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Licensing Notes

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in articles and reviews.

  Cover Designer: Regina Wamba

  Prologue

  Nathan

  Movie Book Trailer link: https://youtu.be/loLaqma2-kg

  Tonight is the night.

  The night my whole life would change. It had only taken me a week to prepare, but I knew what I was doing—what I wanted. Most women plan their weddings as little girls. Most men delay them as long as they can—more like avoid them like the plague—but I had planned my proposal from the second I first saw her.

  The proposal would be simple but romantic. My landlord gave me the idea for a perfect spot. I’d told her about my plans, and she suggested the roof. She didn’t allow tenants up there, but made an exception for me.

  I jerked. My phone vibrated in my pocket, so I took it out to check my texts.

  Olivia: I’m coming up.

  Me: You have to knock.

  Olivia: Okay. We need to talk!

  Me: OK.

  Olivia: Why did you tell me to dress up? Why am I going to the roof?

  Me: To save me. I’m locked out.

  Olivia: Haha. Not funny.

  Me: I guess you’ll have to wait and see.

  Olivia had to go ten flights up in the elevator and then take the stairs to the roof, so it would probably take her a couple of minutes, but those minutes seemed like a lifetime. I had been as calm as the night’s soft breeze, but now my heart pounded out of my chest.

  Thump! Thump!

  I took a long, deep breath. How long had I been staring at the old, rusted metal door?

  Thump!

  I blinked and checked my back pocket for the small box. Opening the door just enough to slip out, I bolted through and then closed it behind me. I didn’t want her to see what I had done just yet. I wanted this moment with her before I showed her my surprise.

  “Nate.” She giggled softly. “What are you doing?” Her eyes slid over my body. “You look ravishing in your gray suit. You know what you do to me when you wear one.” She tugged my red necktie with her lips twisting and her eyes narrowing as if she were angry. “Locked out, are ya?”

  I let out a short chuckle and held her close. Taking a whiff of her sweet, flowery scent, I slid my hand under her dress and up her soft thigh. “You smell so edible, Olie.” I pressed my body tighter to hers. “You smell like you want to be fucked.”

  Another round of giggles tickled my ear. “Maybe I do.” Her sultry, flirty tone sent wicked shivers through me.

  “No peeking.” I cupped a hand over her eyes, careful not to mess up her eye make-up.

  “What are you doing?” She snorted.

  “Shhhhh! Be still.” I bit her earlobe playfully. After opening the door, I dropped my hand to my side. “Surprise! Happy one-year anniversary.”

  Olie fluttered her eyelashes. Frozen in place, she marveled at the decorations. Mini lights twisted around a couple of small trees and along the border of the brick walls. Glowing battery candles sparkled everywhere she turned.

  “Oh, Nate, it’s beautiful. I can’t believe you went out of your way, but—” She glanced around. It wasn’t over-the-top, but it looked romantic. Then a bemused expression replaced her soft smile. “Our anniversary isn’t till Wednesday.”

  “I know. I wanted to surprise you.” I entwined my fingers with hers. Guiding her to the table, I stared at her red silk dress that brought out her brown eyes. Under the night sky, her blonde hair flowing against the light wind mesmerized me, simply stunning.

  Olie and I had met at the restaurant where I worked as a waiter. We had many things in common, but our career struggles bonded us. She wanted to be a model and I wanted to be an actor. We understood each other. We supported each other. She was everything to me. I never knew I could fall this fast and hard, but I had, and I wanted to embrace it and hold on to her forever.

  “You’re too good to me, Nate, but you really didn’t need to do all this for me.”

  I helped her ease into her seat, and I got into mine. I pushed “play” on the playlist I had created on my phone of Ed Sheeran songs, her favorite. In front of us were plates of food covered in tinfoil. I’d had Chinese food delivered—Olie’s favorite—just before she arrived. I had thought about asking my friends to be the waiters, but I wanted tonight to be just Olie and me.

  “The dishes are not pretty, but—”

  “It’s perfect. It’s more than perfect,” she gushed. Her eyes were pooling with tears, sparkling against the glow of the candles.

  A wave of pleasure seeped through me. Knowing she appreciated what I’d done so far meant the world to me. Another surprise for her rested inside my back pocket. We’d discussed marriage before, but agreed it would have to wait until later. I might have jumped a little ahead of schedule without her consent, but it was only a proposal—the declaration of my love for her. We didn’t have to rush to the altar. Some couples waited several years to tie the knot after the engagement.

  Olie placed her hand over mine as her smile disappeared. “Nathan, we need to talk.”

  I didn’t like the sound of my name and her tone. I figured it had something to do with her waitressing job. She had mentioned how unhappy she was and how she wanted to look for another place of employment.

  “Okay, but before we do, let me ask you a question.” I’d planned on asking her after dinner while we were dancing, but my nerves got the best of me.

  She nodded, pulling back her hair in the sudden gush of early fall wind. I took out the little black box with trembling fingers and sank to one knee. After I opened and revealed the one-carat diamond ring, I peered up to see Olie with her hands covering her mouth and tears in her eyes. I had wanted to give her a larger diamond, but I could only afford one carat. Hopefully, if my acting career kicked off, I could replace it with something bigger.

  As my pulse skyrocketed and my forehead began to sweat, I said, “Olivia. We’ve been together for only a year, but you’re the one. I knew the day I met you. I love your smile, your humor, and your genuine heart. You’re everything I need and love. I promise to be the man you deserve, the man who will be by your side through the hardest parts of life, and I’ll take the hard times and turn them into the best times of our life. Every day, the sun rises because of you. Every day, I’ll love you more than I did the day before. Will you marry me?”

  I waited for her answer with a nervous grin. Any second, she would blurt out the answer I wanted to hear. But…I began to worry when her eyes told me otherwise. They went from completely shocked to something I couldn’t understand. Tears streamed down her face. That’s a good sign, right? Olie cried when she was happy, but they didn’t look like happy tears.

  She shook her head. “No,” she whispered softly. I wasn’t sure if I’d heard her right until she spoke again. “I can’t marry you, Nate.”

  I’d heard her wrong—surely I had. But when she turned away and sobbed into her palms, I understood. Standing, I placed the box back into my pocket and walked around to face her.

  “I don’t mean right now or tomorrow, or next week, or month. We can wait till we’re both ready.” I tried to find a reason behind h
er actions. Did I say something wrong?

  She pulled back and wiped her tears. Her eyes were calculating, judging me. “You did this to keep me, didn’t you?” She sounded angry.

  The accusation stunned me. I furrowed my brow in confusion. “What do you mean?”

  “You did this so I wouldn’t take the modeling job in New York. You were afraid I would leave you.”

  “No, baby.” I took a step and stopped when she backed away from me. “You’ve got it wrong.”

  How did I fuck this up? I had planned it all out: After dinner, we would dance with the downtown lights surrounding us. I would ask, and she would say yes. We would go back to my place, and I would make passionate love to her. But…

  She folded her arms in front of her chest. “I’ve made my decision. I’m going to take the modeling job. They want me to start on Monday. I’m flying to New York tomorrow. This is what I wanted to talk to you about.”

  I narrowed my eyes at her. “But we already discussed this. I thought you were going to find a job here in Los Angeles. There are plenty of opportunities for you. We just have to be patient and let fate take its course, just like we talked about.” I continued when she didn’t say a word. “If you’re moving to New York, then…” I looked away. I couldn’t believe her words. Wringing a fistful of my hair between my fingers, I tilted my head up to the sky. The beautiful backdrop to this romantic dinner—stars and the golden full moon—suddenly became eyesores.

  No. She wouldn’t leave me. Sure, we had only been together for a year, but she meant the world to me. I didn’t throw my heart on the line for just anyone, let alone allow it to get broken.

  “Nate. Please understand. I’ve got nothing.” Her tone begged me to understand. But how could I? She was fucking leaving me for good.

  I stooped to her eye level. “You’ve got me, baby. Am I not enough?”

  She dipped her head, avoiding my eyes. “I need this job. Please try to understand. This is a great opportunity for me. This job could make me big. I could help out my mom, too.”

  I felt like shit. If I had a better paying job I could have helped her mom financially. My temporary waiter job allowed me to be in this decent apartment, make the car payment, and save a little for rainy days, but that was about all. It sucked to be struggling to make ends meet. I understood every bit of it—every frustration and the need-to-save-a-penny part of it. But it killed me she had admitted I wasn’t enough.

  “Say something, Nate.” Her tone softened. “I can’t leave knowing you hate me. We can try the long-distance relationship. I—”

  I cut her off with a wave and my jaw tightened. Anger rose inside, taking a hold of me. “You don’t try a relationship. You’re either all in or not. And you know damn well a long-distance relationship won’t work.”

  I wouldn’t be able to afford the flights to New York, and she would be busy, possibly traveling, too, if her career took off. I should have been happy for her, happy she had this great opportunity to work with the best agencies. But it fuckin’ hurt too much. How can I let her go? How can I let my first love—the one I thought would be mine forever—go?

  I winced when she touched my arm. “Nate.” She sighed. It couldn’t be easy for her, but I wasn’t going to make it a piece of cake for her, either. Regardless of our conversation last week, she had changed her mind without talking it over with me. She’d already made up her mind to leave me. What was the point of discussing it with her?

  I gave Olie my back. “Go. Leave. I wish you the best. Have a great life.” Whether I sounded like a bastard, I didn’t care. My heart shattered. Most of all, I couldn’t believe she’d come to this conclusion on her own after we talked about our future together. Would I have tried to get her to change her mind? Yes. Would I have tried to work it out? Yes. Would I have still proposed to her? I didn’t know anymore.

  Perhaps, subconsciously, I had known what would happen. Perhaps she was right, and I’d only proposed to her to keep her there with me. It didn’t matter anyhow. What was said was said. What was done was done.

  When her heels clicked away from me, I thought of running after her and begging her to stay, but it was a great chance for her. Was it right for me to take it away? I screamed inside, uncertain. My thoughts were like a ping-pong match in my head. Do I or don’t I?

  When the door slammed, I knew I would never see her again. Letting her go was the right thing to do, yet the hardest thing to do. My heart ripped out of my chest as I dropped to my knees. Everything moved so fast, before I could register what was happening an agonized moan escaped from my mouth. Olie thinks I’m not good enough for her, my mind repeated. A piece of me died that night. A piece of me I could never get back because she took it with her.

  Chapter One

  A week later

  Nathan

  People say love can mend your soul, but me? It broke me. Changed me. I was in a dark place, and I didn’t know how to get out. Olie had shattered my heart into tiny pieces and left them in the gutter washed away. Time moved slowly, and days dragged by without her.

  My routine never changed: get my ass up, go to work, come home, turn on the TV, and go to bed. But I hardly slept. I wanted to burn the bed, throw out every damn piece of furniture she had touched—or anything that reminded me of her—but it wouldn’t wipe away the memories of her. Recalling her sweet, honey-lavender scented shampoo, her body next to mine in bed— just knowing she wouldn’t be walking to my apartment after work devastated me.

  I’d stare at the door, hoping to wake up from my nightmare. But when the walls around me remained dead quiet and still, my broken heart told me it wasn’t a dream. No more hearing her laughter filling the air, no more warmth pressed against my body, and no more staying up and watching our favorite TV shows. It hurt too much.

  Part of me would always love her, even though I was so pissed off at her, but I knew this hard time would pass. It had to. I walked around like a zombie, dead inside. Every morning and night, her absence chilled the bed. The empty space next to me haunted me. It was as if I had made her up, an illusion appearing only in my dreams.

  “Nathan, are you okay? You’ve been staring at the floor.” Judy tapped me on the shoulder on her way to wait on a table.

  Judy had been an angel on my shoulder ever since I began my job three years ago. With ten-year age difference between us, she had been like a mother to me, always looking after me and giving good advice. She was one of the few who believed I would make it big. I would smile at her encouraging comments and wish they’d come true.

  “Yeah,” I muttered, snapping out of my thoughts of Olie. Putting on my professional face and a fake grin, I waited on a couple who had just been seated. After I took their order, I went back to the kitchen.

  “Nathan.” Judy tugged me out of view to the back corner. “What’s wrong? You’ve been out of it for a week. I wasn’t going to ask. I know it’s not my business, but something happened between you and Olivia, didn’t it?”

  I stared. Her blonde hair reminded me of Olie. Her brown eyes reminded me of Olie. Her voice sounded like Olie. Everything and everyone was Olie. Fuck! My nose crinkled and my jaw tightened. I didn’t want to break down in front of Judy. She was my friend, not my therapist, and didn’t need to hear my problems. Even my college friends didn’t know about our breakup. Nobody had known I planned to propose except for my family and my landlord. I had planned to ask Olie’s mother beforehand for her blessing, but I ran out of time. Regardless, Olie’s mother would have approved.

  “Nathan.” Judy shook me a little. “It’s okay. I’m not going to lecture you. Just get it out of your system. It’s the only way to move on. I know this.” She looked down at her hands and then back up to me. “I was engaged before I met you, but my fiancé passed away from a fast-growing cancer. We didn’t see it coming. You’ll get through this, I promise. Just hold on.”

  My stare changed to something softer. Hearing the shit the amazing woman in front of me had gone through broke my heart
. Judy was one of the kindest, most genuine and thoughtful people I’d ever met. Why did bad things happen to good people?

  “I’m sorry, Judy,” I said sincerely, resting my hands on her arms.

  “It’s okay, Nathan. I’m better. And what you’re going through is your hard time, and I wasn’t trying to downplay it. I wanted to let you know you’ll be fine. How long has it been since the breakup?”

  “A week,” I answered.

  “Yeah. It’s still fresh. And I know she was your first true love. I’m not going to lie…you love your first love like no other. You give everything to your first love: your heart, your soul, your good and bad. And when you lose that love, it will drain you, suck the life out of you. It will hurt like hell. It will crush your heart, soul, and your spirit. But in the end, you’ll be stronger, wiser, and unfortunately, more guarded. Your second love will have the best of you, but not all of you. I know this. I lived it.”

  “Thanks, Judy.” Her words took a tiny bit of my ache away. Knowing she understood was enough.

  Judy got on her tippy-toes and embraced me. “You’re going to go places, kiddo. You’re too handsome and smart to be here with us. I just know something is coming that will change your life. Everything happens at the right time. I hate to say it, but your breakup will lead you to greater things, to what fate has in store for you. You can’t fight destiny. What’s meant to be will be, no matter how hard you try to fight it or how hard you try to make it happen faster. Be patient.”

  “I hope so.” I smiled when she let go.

  “I’m not a fortune teller, but I can see it.” She gave me a naughty, playful smile. “Now stop thinking about her and keep your mind on what is to come. Put your career first. No girls from now on.” With that, she smacked my ass. “You’re so hot, Nathan. If I were ten years younger, I would have you for dessert.”

  I would’ve taken offense to her comments if I didn’t know her so well, but she was half teasing. But she was right. Something great would happen at the right time.